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On Thursday, July 7, 2022, the Islamic Family Law Study Program (HKI) at Universitas Muhammadiyah Malang (UMM) had the privilege of inviting Prof. Alimatul Qibtiyah, S.Ag., M.Si., Ph.D., a Commissioner of the National Commission on Women (Komnas Perempuan) of the Republic of Indonesia, to discuss the challenges faced by modern families and offer solutions for what families should do.
Families are not solely led by a father, and the responsibility of education should not fall solely on mothers. Both parents must work together to build a family that is sakinah, mawaddah, and warahmah (peaceful, loving, and compassionate). This was conveyed by Prof. Alimatul Qibtiyah during a talk show on contemporary family issues.
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The Commissioner of the National Commission on Women explained that currently, mothers still contribute significantly to the education of children, while fathers are busy working to provide for the family. However, she emphasized that children need the presence of a father in their development.
“Not all household and child-rearing responsibilities should be handed over to the mother. There must be involvement from the father to build a warm relationship among family members,” she said.
In addition, she explained several contemporary family problems. One of the issues is the high rate of divorce. Based on her research, many factors contribute to the high divorce rate in Indonesia, including disharmony in families, being stuck in outdated cultural norms, and the challenges posed by new digital technologies.
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With the advancement of digital technology, problems are not disappearing but are, in fact, creating new issues for modern families. Issues such as cyberbullying, online harassment, addiction, fraud, and others are becoming increasingly prevalent. “The development of technology not only brings solutions and new ways of doing things but also creates new problems. Just look at how the closeness between parents and children has decreased, with both being more focused on their own gadgets,” she explained.
The pandemic has also added burdens and challenges. For example, the educational burden on mothers, who must understand all subjects, especially if they are also working. Additionally, domestic violence has increased, with 85% of victims being women and 10% being men. The percentage of child marriages has also risen.
“The patriarchal culture in Indonesia has not yet disappeared. Many mothers still bear a heavy burden, as most men think their role is just to provide, while women are expected to be homemakers. This mindset needs to change. Both parents must help each other to create a better family,” she added.
At the end of her presentation, Prof. Alimatul gave tips for restoring the spirit of a harmonious family. One tip was to make the roles of fathers and mothers more flexible so they can complement each other’s shortcomings. She also emphasized the importance of creating a harmonious environment that fosters a concept of baiti jannati (a home as a heaven), making the home a place conducive to both physical and spiritual health. Finally, understanding the hobbies and preferences of each family member was also important.
Meanwhile, Pradana Boy ZTF, MA., Ph.D., the second speaker, discussed the challenges faced by modern families. For example, the perception of a wife’s salary being higher than the husband’s, long-distance marriages, and other issues.
Social changes have also altered people’s behavior in family life. For instance, many parents are now focusing more on their careers, while their children are being cared for by others. Although some may not see this as a problem, many families must face this challenge.
“Moreover, social changes are accompanied by technological developments that change societal habits, as well as new ideological understandings. Therefore, new understandings and new approaches to family life need to be updated and understood,” he concluded. (haq/wil/sz/ika)
ISLAMIC FAMILY LAW
